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hey this is Leo for actualised org and in this video I'm gonna tell you how to be attractive okay how to be attractive let's crack into it this is gonna be a quick self-help segment but I'm gonna give you the key not some sort of little gimmick and I can go in and I give you a list of a lot of little techniques and tips that you can use to increase your attractiveness to the opposite sex whether you're a guy or a girl but I'm gonna actually give you something that's very deep and this is gonna take some effort on your part to understand because this is a profound idea that if you just take this principle and you apply it to your life the amount of attraction that you will generate from the opposite sex is gonna be ridiculous this is such a powerful idea and in this segment I'm just gonna focus on it and one little point at the end but what is this idea let's get into it so here it is and you might not like it but this is why it's powerful I want you to be completely detached from needing anyone to fulfill you in your life all right what does this mean this means that I want you to realize and this is a deeper truth that you will realize with enough personal development work that you do not need anyone in your life to make you happy or fulfilled despite what it might seem like right now no I know what you might be saying you may be saying well Leo the whole point of getting into a relationship is because I want I want to have love I want to have compassion I want to have excitement I want to do all these fun things I want to find my soul mate maybe I want to get married I want to have children I want to raise a good family all of these things you know nothing wrong with that that's all well and good but I can guarantee you that the biggest problem that you're having if you're not being Proactive in a relationship is not that you're not pretty enough or that you're behaving in some weird ways or you're doing something incorrectly it's this general idea this philosophy this mindset that you're going into the relationship with the need for somebody to be your second half to fulfill you and it's very easy to get caught up in this because mainstream media puts out this notion of what love and romance and relationships are like if we watch movies and watch stories and listen to fairy tales we get this picture that love is this finding somebody else to complete you that is not what true love is that is not what a healthy relationship is a healthy relationship is one in which both parties both the man and the woman or whatever your relationship ends up being girl girl guy guy girl guy doesn't matter you need to be confident and independent and happy by yourself and so does the other person and only then can you two come together and create something that is greater than the sum of its parts this is a hard idea to get wrap your head around because especially if you're feeling lonely right now and you're feeling like you're lacking something in your life and you feel like well if only I had that guy or that girl if only I had that love that I had maybe in a previous relationship if I could rekindle that kind of spark again then I would be happy I would be content my life would be complete well that's the problem that's highly unattractive to the opposite sex there are actually two points here first is the more shallow point the surface-level point that it's simply actually repulsive to the other person and that when you're coming from that mind frame you're actually going to be repelling rather than attracting people that's because well when you are desperate and when you're needy other people do not want to be around you at least not the kind of person that you want in your life what you're gonna attract when you're needy and desperate is you're gonna retract somebody else who's on that same level so you might attract someone who also going to be needy and desperate or you might not attract anyone at all that's definitely not someone you want is a needy and desperate person that's going to create a dysfunctional codependent relationship instead what you want is you want to attract someone who's equally confident and stable and happy in themselves just as they are so that when you two come together things click and things are good now this goes deeper to the reason that you do not want to be in this needy desperate position is because actually what you're doing is you're being inauthentic to yourself you're not really in touch with the fact that you can be happy by yourself and what you're actually looking for is you're looking for a crutch and you're using this other person even though you call it love and you call it romance and fulfillment actually what you're doing is you're using that other person as a crutch to fill a void in your own ego that is there and here's the thing here's the really mind-blowing thing is that even if you get that person and you find that perfect person to fit that hole that boy that you have in yourself it's not actually gonna work it's no different than going out there for example and you know that stereotypical businessman that goes out there and tries to dominate the corporate ladder and tries to earn a million dollars and thinks that that's gonna make him happy and then when he gets to the end of that whole journey he finds out that he's no happier than when he started that's very very true from a money perspective but it's also very true from a relationship perspective if you think that somebody else is gonna come in there and fulfill you fulfill that gap in your ego it's not gonna happen and here's why because you're actually running away from something there's something within you within your own psychology that you're not facing up to and when you avoid that by just going and getting a quick fix of sex or companionship or love or marriage or starting a family whatever that is all that's doing is that putting a band-aid over a much deeper wound that you have within yourself because honestly you do not need anyone to be happy in this applies for everybody in the entire world you can be completely be all by yourself you do not need anyone to fulfill you and if you feel like that's not true for you well then I've got a shocking revelation and that is because you have not done enough introspection and have not figured out what your quirks are what your limiting beliefs are what your ego deficiencies are you have not done enough personal development work to get that part of your life handled so what I'm telling you is get that part of your life handled be detached and you will be attractive so not only will you be attractive you'll also be fulfilled which is really even more important but with the attractiveness thing what's attractive to the opposite sex two guys and two girls is to be able to be completely authentic 100% authentic and to be a completely 100% authentic you have to be able to be confident in who you are and you have to be able to let people come and go into your life without needing to clutch onto them and cling to them and hold them now this applies whether you're single right now or you're you're in some sort of Burrill girlfriend-boyfriend relationship or even if you're married all right even if you're married you should not be attached to your spouse you should not need that spouse to be in your life if you do then I got a very high probability of predicting that that marriage or that relationship is gonna go sour within a few years maybe even sooner or maybe within five years or ten years but in the end it's not gonna be able to last because it's built on something that's fake it's not authentic you could not be authentic with someone that you need something from generally what you really need to come into a deep realization of and this is something that I've been doing as I've been doing more meditation more enlightenment work on myself is I've been really coming to this deep understanding that there is nothing that anyone in the world can offer me that I cannot offer myself now of course that doesn't mean that I can fix my own plumbing or I can repair my own car or I can grow my own food I need people for that sure we depend on each other for those kinds of things weirdest is that we live in a society what I'm talking about the psychological dependency you do needs someone to fulfill you psychologically at least you shouldn't right now that is most likely not the case for you it takes a lot of work to get to the point where you're really there I'm not there myself I'm working on this right now very actively but you need to start getting more awareness of this is that the more psychological dependencies you have on your parents on your siblings on your spouse on your children on your boss on anyone in life as long as you think that they can really give you something of value then what's gonna happens you're gonna set you're gonna feel a need to sacrifice your own authenticity you're not going to be able to express yourself the way that you want to express yourself and that is what's actually most attractive and most magnetic within people when you see people like celebrities or you see someone that you're really attracted to the reason that is is because that person is totally out come independent right they're comfortable being themselves and they're happy by themselves they actually are happy they're not faking it this is not some sort of fake detachment this is a real I am happy with my life I really don't need anything else to complete it if you want to come in here and you want to kind of intermingle with what I've got going on then let's do that let's see if it'll work we'll try that and that's the base of a strong relationship and you know what if it doesn't work something doesn't go right then we'll just gonna we're just gonna like bounce our separate ways and no hard feelings because I'm happy I expect you to be happy and that's just how it is right it's like to non-needy entities coming into contact with each other and just seeing how it's gonna play out versus the way that a normal relationship works and this is what I would define as a dysfunctional relationship is two people coming together needing something from the other I need sex from you you need security for me you want comfort from me you want love for me I want excitement from you and I want a partner from you and I want money from you you know when you've got this kind of trade this kind of tit-for-tat going then neither party is gonna be able to be completely authentic because what's going to happen is you're always gonna have that fear deep down that well hold on if I do something that that person disapproves up that that person doesn't like then I'm gonna risk upsetting I'm gonna do something that maybe they're gonna stop loving me maybe they're gonna get angry they're gonna get upset and they're gonna pull something away from me right they're gonna pull their love away they're gonna pull their their their comfort away from me and when you're in that kind of relationship that's a relationship based on fear that's a dysfunctional relationship so if you want to be really authentically attractive then what you got to do is you got to really work on this and I means working on yourself working on your own psychology working on your own quirks you know why is it that you feel that you need that love so badly why do you thirst after it why do you need that companionship so much why are not why are you not comfortable in who you are why can't you be comfortable just by yourself without needing anybody else these are the issues you got to really work out now the next point is that I really want you to create a happy life for yourself so that means that if you're sitting home alone right now and you cannot be happy by yourself without going out and distracting yourself with some sort of stimulation television internet sex drugs alcohol whatever if you're not able to just be comfortable and happy by yourself then you've got some work to do realize that you've got some work to do and I also want you to set up a good life for yourself with nice external circumstances so that means for example make sure that you have a rich life have a good career have something that you're passionate about your life have a life purpose have some nice friends that you like to hang out with have some hobbies that you enjoy have your money situation handled make sure you're unhooked from addictions like drugs smoking alcohol overeating make sure you're happy with your family life make sure you have your health and your hygiene in order when you've got all this stuff you're gonna be happy and also you're gonna work on your psychology beyond that right so you got your psychology down you've got all these external factors in your life down now you've created an awesome life for yourself now you can be authentic now as long as you're just interacting with people and you're out and about and you have chances to bump into other people then they're gonna see you being happy and being confident and being completely authentic and not eating anything and they're gonna be like oh that's kind of cool I rarely need a person like that and they're gonna get attracted to you don't discount how powerful this is it seems a little bit abstract maybe airy-fairy hard to believe I'm telling you that this is really the secret of building lasting non gimmicky attraction and the last point that I'm going to make as I'm wrapping up here is really take care of your body and take care of your hygiene take care of your health make sure you're eating well make sure that you're taking care of basic hygiene stuff brushing your teeth showering every day doing your you know your yoga your meditation your gym routine following up on that eating healthy cleaning up your diet these are some very practical things and they might seem shallow but really the reason you're doing them is you're doing them for you I get to create a happy life for yourself but they're also going to make you attractive because if you're taking care of yourself to the best of your ability and you've got your psychology down and your life is awesome I mean who would not want to be a part of that of course they would everyone wants to be a part of that what people are repelled by is neediness you coming into a relationship and just wanting more for me me me me it's like I need this I need that I need you for me to feel happy nobody wants to really be in a relationship like that not a healthy person a dysfunctional person might and then that will create something that you are not going to want anyways alright so that's it this is the deep underlying truth of how to be attractive don't listen to the gimmicks solve this problem nip it in the butt by addressing your need for other people you really don't need other people find out why you're not happy as you are right now alright this is Leo I'm gonna be signing off this is a fascinating topic to me I've got more ideas on it how to be attractive and attractiveness I'm gonna shoot a lot more videos on that coming up I already got a few up there so check those out too how to attract a guy how to attract a girl I've got specific videos on on those too for guys and girls and that's gonna be it leave me your comments like this share this if you would and of course come check out actualized gorg because what we've got on there is we've got an exclusive newsletter with some exclusive amazing bonuses it you're gonna find anywhere else we've got a nineteen part video series we've got an opportunity to get some live coaching with myself I'm a life coach so I can help you work on issues I give away two hours of coaching every month really the way the reason that you want to sign up to actualize that org is because I am committed to helping you figure out the psychology of getting your life into shape not just your relationships but as you've noticed this relationship stuff it goes much deeper than just being attractive on a surface level right it's about understanding who you are I want to help you understand who you are in your life so that you can get not only your relationships into place but your career into place get your health into place get all of that get your money into place so that you're just living an awesome extraordinary kind of life and I've got a lot of ideas a lot of insights to share with you and I want you to be following along because I'm releasing content all the time and the best way to do that is subscribe to my newsletter because you're getting email updates I release content for free every week you